Hard work vs Approach

It may sound astonishing to read that in those 11 months, we worked for about 7000 hours that is around 20 hours a day. However, that is not the entire story enough to explain the reasons for our results. We know, you all are working hard, maybe not 20 hours, but 12, 14, or 16 hours every day for your kids. You are committed and giving everything you have; however, you are exhausted, since you haven’t seen the progress you’re hoping for.

The answer is simple. Hard work has no alternate, we must do it, however what matters more is the Approach. Different results usually come from a different way of thinking.

In this article, we share the first fundamental of our approach that we developed through trial, observation, and countless hours with our children. Before you read further, keep an open mind. Some of what follows may challenge what you’ve been told for years.

Fundamental 1: We Don’t Work on Symptoms Since we Work on the Root Cause.

Let’s break down what it means.

When we started, our twins faced two broad types of challenges.

1. Learning-based Developmental challenges:We observed several developmental delays such as:

• Lack of communication (verbal and non-verbal)
• No connection with environment (no eye contact, no response to name)
• No social interaction (With peers or parents)
• Lack of general understanding (pretend play)

2. Sensory symptoms (Other challenges will be covered in next articles) such as:

• Hand flapping
• Finger flicking
• Toe walking
• Looking from the corners of the eyes
• Spinning
• Seeking very tight hugs
• Fixation on rotating screens or spinning objects

In traditional therapy, like most parents, we were told to work on reducing these Symptoms by sensory-focused routines, especially for tactile sensitivity and hyperactivity, that are built around these visible behaviors such as

• Gym-ball exercises: bouncing, rolling, balancing
• Wheelbarrow walks: walking on hands while an adult holds the legs
• Sensory swings, often paired with tasks like moving an object from one place to another
• Joint compressions: applying pressure to the arms and legs
• Weighted blankets for deep pressure
• Sticking and peeling tape on the skin
• Weighted backpacks worn during the day

The intention behind these activities is to calm the child and help the senses “integrate.” However, in reality these activities only tire a child out. A tired child can look calm, but that calmness doesn’t necessarily mean anything has changed underneath. In our view, a child’s energy shouldn’t simply be drained. It should be channeled into learning, connection, and growth.

Symptoms are Signals, not the Problem itself

During autism journey, we as parents learn that the symptoms in autism may vanish and appear again. One week, hand flapping seems better, the next week it’s back. Toe walking fades, then returns. When we talk to the therapist, we are told that ups and downs are part of autism. However, if you try to treat only the symptoms, the underlying cause remains. And due to that the symptoms never really go away. Instead, we must focus on the root cause.

We understood that symptoms are consequences of something underlying in the dysregulated brain. That’s exactly why trying to reduce just the symptoms doesn’t help the kids recover from autism. So, our entire focus shifted to brain Regulation: – helping the brain connect with the world around it so that learning could begin. Since autism is a brain-based condition, then it made sense to put our energy into the brain itself. When we did, we saw learning begin to grow in a way it hadn’t before.

Looking at the day through a child’s eyes

Imagine a child’s day built mostly around sensory-based work. In such activities there’s nothing for the children to enjoy or accept. They cry, resist, or shut down, but they can’t tell us why, because they can’t yet express what they feel. Sometimes new behavioral problems appear simply from frustration. And remember: the child doesn’t know they “have autism.” All they know is that their whole day is filled with activities that feel strange and uncomfortable to them. We kept asking ourselves one simple question: Where is the learning in all of this?

“How do I stop hand flapping?”

There is a huge amount of content online about how to stop hand flapping, toe walking, or spinning. But pause and ask: Why is Stopping these Symptoms/Behaviors even a Goal?

Hand flapping is not autism. Suppressing it doesn’t build understanding, language, or intellect. We completely understand that some behaviors can feel socially awkward, especially in public. But in our experience, working on such symptoms alone does not change the bigger picture, and the symptoms didn’t simply go away either.

Here is a question worth reflecting on, honestly: If your child has been doing sensory integration work for months or years, has their sensory system truly become integrated? Unfortunately, your answer is no, hence it is the time to look at the problem from a different angle.

Every sense we have (touch, sight, listen, taste, smell, balance) and every bodily function is governed by the brain. Hence, in autism, when the brain is dysregulated and disconnected from its environment, learning suffers, and the body shows it through sensory symptoms. Working only on the senses, without working on the brain, simply didn’t make sense to us.

What Brain-Based Work Looks Like

Brain-focused work isn’t one activity or one exercise. It is a daily, step-by-step process tailored to each child. The activities to be designed depend on the kids age and current developmental stage across all areas such as communication, social interaction, motor skills, play, self-care etc.

Once you understand those, many strategies will start to become clear on their own, and you’ll be able to plan your child’s day with much more confidence. You can follow up with the next articles on our website.

A Message to Every Parent

Your hard work matters enormously. But hard work needs the right direction to bring results. Every child with autism can make meaningful progress towards complete recovery from Autism if we work with the right approach. It is painful to watch children struggle while precious years of early development pass by. That’s why we shared our journey and approach openly: to bring a different perspective to the world of autism and to give other families hope.

If our fundamentals surprise you, that’s expected. Most of you think the way you’ve been taught to think. But we questioned what we were told, followed what we observed in our own children, and the right approach brought them to where they are today.

Two things we hope you’ll remember:

1. Special parenting can turn Autism into a Blessing.
2. Approach matters more than Efforts.

You Don’t Have to Walk This Path Alone

Think back to when you first became a parent. Everything was new. Why won’t the baby sleep? Is this crying normal? Should they be crawling by now? For most of us, those early years felt overwhelming.

But many of us had our own parents beside us. When something worried us, they would calmly explain why it was happening and what to do next. Their experience didn’t take away the challenges, but it made the journey lighter and easier, and it gave us confidence.

Raising a child with autism deserves the same kind of support.

That’s why we see ourselves as autism co-parents. We have walked this road ourselves, and we understand the questions that keep you up at night: Why is my child doing this? Is this normal for their stage? What should I be working on right now? Am I spending my time on the right things? Am I overspending my child’s precious time on one milestone?

How Autism Blessings Can Help

When you connect with us, we work alongside you, step by step:

• Milestone assessment: We review your child’s development across all areas, according to their age and stage, so you know exactly where they are today.
• Clear goals: We help you identify the next milestones that we can work together with you.
• A daily plan: We guide you in planning your child’s activities and daily routine, so every part of the day supports their learning and growth.
• Ongoing guidance: As your child progresses, we help you adjust the plan and answer your questions along the way, so you’re never left guessing.

Our goal is simple: to help your child move forward, and to help you feel confident and supported as a parent.

Take the First Step

Every child’s journey is different, but no family should have to figure it out alone. If you’re ready for guidance that focuses on your child’s growth, not just their symptoms, we would love to hear from you.

Connect with us today at +917814524560 and let’s begin your child’s journey together.

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